It's Bedtime, where's the Sandman?

Most often it's a walk in the park,
 then there are times you need a remedy of  harmony.

There are lots of times that he goes off to bed without a fuss.  More to the point is the fact that this mostly happens when his two older brothers are going too and he would then entice them into reading to him. With them not finishing their chores on time or having the need for extra time to complete homework, there are those nights when bedtime is not just painfully labour-some  for him but for me as well.

On this night he was particularly troublesome and getting into everyone's way.  A glance at the clock told me that it was 8'oclock.  Aaaaah, I pulled the huge rank card "Well, that's it.  You know it's actually 8'oclock - bedtime!"  He seemed to accept defeat with much chagrin.  Knowing how he was, I pulled him in close for a special hug and an extra special kiss followed by "say your prayers".  Off he went with the promise that they will be in soon. 

The other two sat on the sofa finishing up some reading.  Somehow I could discern a faint whisper coming from the room, he was calling out to them.   Eventually, one by one they disappeared to his rescue. 

It was quiet.  So quiet that by a little after 9, I called out to the oldest brother, convinced that sound sleep had overtaken his little brother and learned how mistaken I was.  The middle child who cannot stomach too much of a fuss followed closely behind and oh no, the night monster gave birth.  I really really believed that I was not going to have one of those nights.  The one where at first it's a wail, then a scream "somebody come stay with me", "is anybody there?" "can anyone hear me?" followed by pure catastrophe.   I'm still in shock my bubble busted and I'm holding off having a tantrum myself.  

Can a lady just have some quiet time, especially for the last hours of a public holiday, Labour Day no less.

Reluctantly I got up.  I went in.  And standing beside the bed I firmly said,  now please it's 9:30, you Should have been asleep since 8.  that's a whole hour and a half.  He begun to wail. Boy can he waaaaiiiil!  I want to wail too!

"No come on," I said, "it's either you don't get a long enough sleep and still have to wake up early in the morning or I don't wake up early enough in the morning because I'm sooo tired and you miss the school bus which will mean that you stay on the porch as I have things I must get done." He realized I meant business.  He settled into his pillow, pulled the cover sheet up around him some more, sniffed a little, snuggled some more and relinquished the reigns.  While going out, I made him aware that the light was still on and should there be any screaming at all, it would result in lights out!

Grrrr it may seem a tad harsh, but please let me tell you, a 24/7 solo parent must to stay sharp to keep the squad well lined up on deck.  As my mother and grandmother used to say "nobody coming to run circles round me, you didn't come to rule me!"  For sure, these boys have made me sweat.  Thankfully it's not too often and by the time I ROAR they certainly will forget they ever did. 

It still remains unimaginable that getting up at half-past six the very morning, to set out for a 2 hour walk at seven (7am) that this night would find this child still up without a nap at all during the day.  I take it then that for his body, it was a power walk.  I'm thrilled he has the endurance, yet with school the next day ... Ouch.

There are two ladies that bestow!upon him extra doses of sweetness as they see him often at school.  He turns to mush too whenever they are around and have the nerve to declare that he only feels particularly bashful when he's around them.  However, I've noticed a third, hmmm make that a fourth.  If only I can bottle "whatever" to ensure the taming of the wail at bedtime when the sandman has been delayed.

9:35 he's sound a sleep.  On to wrapping up with "the twins" as he calls them and lunch prep.  Grr grr grr

10:22 finished drafting this piece ...

10:50 The twins are set and off to bed.

Surely this holiday must be renamed Rest Day with fines to anyone for disturbing the peace. Surely goodness and mercy shall see to this.

Unleashed - A Pet Peeve!

Sir Drake on guard duty 2001, just little over 2 human years old.

Okay folks it's summer time! TRANSLATION:  Lots and lots of children are home. TIE YOUR DOGS, HAVE THEM LEASHED when walking them and no those thin chains for a buffed and more than waist high dog do not cut it.

One son was rushed on the night of June 13th following a graduation exercise.  The graduate then rushed the dog, gave him some terse words and refused to back down.  Meanwhile, I'm running in heels towards a terrified and shrieking child who in that time would have put Usain Bolt to shame - the child not me - as he must have sprinted 6 car lengths in 5 seconds.  Added to that he was now cannon-balled in the middle of the road.  Yes, enter the big WHAT IF?  My presence of mind is now between calming him while heading back down to the car and saying prayers that this dog would stay where it was and not attack the other two.

After some time, the dog started backing away.  It, however, refused to stand down even after it's master called out.  You see it was being outmatched by the fearless one and it wasn't going to cower easily. The yard where the dog belongs is not fenced!   Now this got me real infuriated.  It really took a lot for me to not give the owner himself two choiced words ... Instead I said "goodnight, please tie that dog."

There's another yard right next to the school.  Though fenced, the dogs still get out as they are prone to find away when it suits their fancy.  You would think the common sense thing would be to secure the dogs during school hours or secure the fence if it's so much more important to the owner that they roam.  Here's a solution: buy a long chain so it can walk/run about securely INSIDE!

Going down to town last week, at the Buckley line round-a-bout, we were welcomed by a huge Rottie and some other huge mixed something.  There was another huge something between the gas station and the tire repair and two more going around the bend.  Children were already out and about.

Back in 2006 while on the job, a co-worker's children was spending some time in the office.  Sometime close after noon it was agreed they would walk home.  They lived in Nut Grove and had done the route countless times.  It wasn't an easy decision for them to go alone, yet it became a hectic morning in the office and the fussy children DNA began to show up.  Though torn, she reluctantly conceded.   Not too long after she'd resettled at her desk, in came some terrified children, one bleeding. They were met on Tanner Street by a dog who gave chase to one daughter who ended up falling as she ran into a car. Thankfully the man driving called and was kind enough to bring them up to the office, then transport mother and children to the hospital.  Yes, WHAT IF?

2007 a niece and a visiting nephew from the US were chased coming back home from the village shop.  They were in her neighbourhood.  Somewhere between the shop and home on the return leg something had changed.  The dog was in the yard when they went but was now out.  The boy being the elder told her not to run, just walk.  The dog began coming closer raising her fear.  She started running, the dog gave chase.  Dear cousin started throwing stones but the dog kept at it.  He started running too ... Yes, WHAT IF?

I myself have had the experience of being chased.  Walking home from primary school one afternoon with my siblings - a dog - must have been months old really - came out and started following us.  All would have been well had it not decided to pick me to try to warm up to.  I kept switching sides, trying to hide my anxiety as it wasn't my wish to come under the brunt of jokes for the evening.  I walked a little faster, the dog kept pace too.  I brushed, it went out and came back.  I couldn't take it any more, just don't like them brushing at my feet or licking so, unless I initiated the petting. We were just yards from home, I began running ... fast.  The dog too!  The siblings were laughing, at this point though I couldn't give a pineapple.  All I knew if this thing was chasing me a bite may well be in my future and that wasn't going to happen.  I wasn't going to be a willing participant.  I had my target set; run straight into the yard and into the garage ... full sprint on.  I would have exited through the back of the garage had not my grandfather who was just back from his farm been putting his cutlass through at the same time. Had he not averted his hand my shin would have connected with his always ever so precisely sharpened cutlass.  Pulling some fast breaks I also avoided the pitch fork!   "Girl, what's wrong with you?"  He soon got the answer for himself and "that damn dog" and it's owner did get a telling.  Yes, WHAT IF?

Then here's another growing issue.  As a renter I am not allowed to have dogs.  That's fine, I do not want one at this point and time.  Yet, there are dogs in the yard, pulling at my clothes on the line, pooping in the yard, knocking over the garbage drums and yep - you guessed -  the nerve to be barking or growling at my children.  Surely I'm not the only one peeved by this situation.   What IF?

SERIOUSLY PEOPLE, get your act together 'cause anybody dog bite any ah me children OR me will have a really hard time wrapping their head around the fact that I am indeed a dog lover.  Added to that, prosecution to the fullest extent of the law will be sought!  
#nonsense #growup #getreal #beresponsible.

They are FINE Politicians indeed!

Their squabbles
get on
your nerves! 
You REALLY
want to take
the lot of them
and put them
in a pile!

Do as much
as you can
to NOT
get involved.

Depending on
your day,
a good laugh
can be had
AT
THEIR
EXPENSE.
Otherwise,
it will make 
your stomach
churn
and
your head
spin.

Minutes later
they are
sitting
and
chatting
TOGETHER
regarding
all sorts
of affairs - 
domestic,
local,
regional,
international - 
and Grand plans
are made
with
a resounding
"YES,
let's do that!"

You are
amazed,
awed,
dumbfounded,
and glad
you stayed
OUT
of the fray.

SILENCE
ensues ...
utter silence,
they get up,
go off to bed,
the tick-tock
of the clock
on the wall
is the
loudest
NOISE
around.

You delight in
the peace
and
tranquillity.
You FORGIVE
the "goodnight"

they forgot
to give
as they
moved
AS ONE
to their
resting.

You pray
you won't 
have to
go through
this AGAIN.
Yet,
if the
positives
outweigh
the negatives
you'll 
JOYFULLY
embrace it.

CHILDREN!

MAYA: Ms. Angelou If You Please.

A Soul that has Blessed ~
A Soul that found Peace ~ 
A Soul that will Rise ~
Leila B. Athill

Two days before her passing I'd picked up a post on FB regarding her illness. Immediately, I prayed for her, for her family.  I wasn't overly saddened or grief strickened because I knew that with her age that she'd lived a full and accomplished life.  Somewhere deep in my spirit I accepted that this may very well be "her time".

I'm sure that with her can do spirit, even at her age, that there must have been a list, whether written down or in her heart and mind of other things she'd like to do, places she'd like to visit and as such this was coupled with the occasional reminiscing as she looks over her past and the forks and roads taken that brought her to where she was in life.

In my own reminiscing, I was humbled.  Humbled that as I waded out into the unknown at this time in my life that my spirit had captured and held on to her piece of poetry - "Still I'll Rise".  A series of photos I took in December 2013 are shared in an FB album entitled "Still I'll Rise".  This album débuted on the birthday of a truly exceptional woman who I tend to butt heads with at times - my own mother :) (I've been assured by a dear pastor that this is normal woman's territory).  The first photo catalogued embodied so much of our life together; strength, agility, gentleness, playfulness and a love for the ocean - its calm, its swells, its tides and the healing it brings just to be near it.  As I struck pose after pose, twirling my sarong, amidst the encouraging words of the photographer, I recalled my mother's lessons in not only tying a sarong but using and wearing it effortlessly and somewhere, somehow this transcended into going forward carrying my trials and tribulations effortlessly.  In an instant the words that settled on my heart were "Still I'll Rise", just as she continues to do and as Maya has done.

Maya Angelou's "I Know Why the Caged Birds Sing" was somewhere on my high school's reading list along with the popular Shakespeare Series. However, it wasn't until later through my older sister's passion for her literature that I was truly turned on to her work.  If I wasn't reading I was writing or otherwise creatively engaged and the latter plus a disruptive marriage and children squeezed out time spent with my beloved authors.  So there is much much more of her work that is still to be devoured by me.

It was during a phone conversation with a friend that I learned of her passing; my response "what?"  He continued "Maya Angelou passed".  It sank in - I sighed and recounted that it was just two days ago that I learned she was unwell.

Now I've pondered the parallels, the shifts, the coincidence that as she was going out ... I was coming in, coming in to my own.  Owning me.  Owning and Embracing all of me and this sure takes some courage.  It is surreal that despite the physical distances and the unlikelihood that we would ever meet another just how connected in life we are. It's also poignant that when we meet someone, a stranger, who later becomes a friend, we learn of their culture and how similar it is to ours, we come away feeling as though they grew up on our street.  I feel somehow our spirits collided.  It brings me back to wondering about our souls' journeys as we sleep and dream.

Many years ago while in the USA, I dreamed that a boyfriend had an accident.  I called one of his close friends who was also in the USA asking him to call home to find out as I was really a bit terrified to find out myself - you know, that feeling where you scare yourself.  Sometime later he called back and to this day - pretty much 20 years later - I remember his exact words, "Leila, if at all you should ever dream anything about me, don't tell me!" 

So yes, in my own way I feel connected to her.  Connected to this woman of courage who looked within herself and to God to achieve beauty out of the ashes of life.  To me,
Maya Angelou's life is one of those that I would hasten to say came full circle.  It's one of the interesting little tidbits I note or come away with when someone dies - how close their death was time-lined to their birth.  It is how I later introduced the wording sunrise / sunset (instead of birth / death) on funeral stationery I produced - symbolising the individual's day's work is done.

When I look at her face I see the faces of the women of my family and of the older women outside my family that I've become knitted to and how they all share this same face - a face that is open, speaks love, acceptance, forgiveness, grace and strength all at the same time.  I look at photos of my mother, my grandmother and I exclaimed aloud.  My sons who were present agreed and added yes that's Aunt Pauline's face too - my maternal grandmother's first cousin who fills the role of their every day hands-on doting grandmother.

The impact is profound and the truth is that there's so much on this plain that transcends our human understanding.  We born, we die.  However, in between that, we must take courage as Maya did and live.

Facebook - The Party Room

Facebook is like one big party room.  If you're close enough to catch the joke, you laugh and make your comments.  If not, someone will catch you up.  Failing that, just don't be offended, drop it and move on - fast! This is my conclusion having been Facebooked for about 5 years now.  My perception tomorrow may surely change.

As I look back, I recall one of my first slaps; a cousin was coming to Antigua, seeing her post I got excited and hit up her page - "Sure can't wait to see you" or some other really excited comment - she deleted it... :( I was miffed.  How was I to know that she was posting in a slant that maybe only a handful of people may get "on the world wide web" and me just posting on "her page" without selecting "her only" - remember now I'm new with the impression of a party room amongst friends and family - would land me on the wrong side of her venom.

Well, after in-boxing to get to the heart of the matter, I made my apologies and a mental note to never do that again.  Get excited about seeing her, sure - telling her on FB - a definite NO! NO!.  The thing was "not everyone" was suppose to know where she was travelling to.

However, it wasn't just her - whole scores of people.  I can be pretty responsive and into cheering others on. So please if you don't want the FB community to know just please don't put it there as I may reply on your wall and not in your inbox.  (Note I still hold the what-if-view that one day your inbox may end up on your wall).  There was that time I commented that a married couple looked so much alike they could really pass for relatives.  Comment Deleted!  Apparently a bit too close to home.  I love them dearly. Some months later I had a call to mediate my brother's faux pas.  Now dude is in the army and not readily accessible.  When I got on to him, he just threw his head back and laughed. I couldn't see him, but I know him.  He complied with the wishes and laughed some more. Party room I tell you! 

Of course, I've had my share.  It seems at times that my life observations and experiences that are shared through an FB post, though not directly speaking of a particular person who caused me a great deal of trauma, was taken to said individual by some apparent FB snoop (that's what they're called right?). So yes, after I was called and cussed out by the chap I had to do a blast reminding people that my life in all it's pain and glory is just that - mine.  After all, that's what you do in a party room right.  You set it straight!  And yes what was said in my post could only get to him through one of the FB peeps cause he's not on my list and couldn't get on it even if he tried unless he create an alias or one of the peeps gave him a look-see through their access.  But heck - nobody got time for that and like brother Bob say "who de cyap fit!"

It's a live and learn type of thing.  The world goes on.  FB's changes keep you on your toes. Platforms are forever being launched and upgraded, so it is with growth.  Many features I've found to be rather useful and happily so when the "what is for two is not for three" rule applies.  But don't come tell me that something is private and then two shakes later I see smaddy else hitting up your page with the same info and you don't press the delete button cause now that's sending an entirely different message altogether.

When it's all said and done we are all created humans, with the same emotions.  Yet don't in any way pass your place to tell me I'm a lesser one in this party room of life.  It is a great place to share information, a great way to share photo albums across the distance but as with anything else, when the minus outweighs the plus it's a room I'd rather not be in any more.  Hence my continued plea for 2014, keep it nice, light and comfy.  Let's not lose or devour each other, keep the monkey in the room.