MAYA: Ms. Angelou If You Please.

A Soul that has Blessed ~
A Soul that found Peace ~ 
A Soul that will Rise ~
Leila B. Athill

Two days before her passing I'd picked up a post on FB regarding her illness. Immediately, I prayed for her, for her family.  I wasn't overly saddened or grief strickened because I knew that with her age that she'd lived a full and accomplished life.  Somewhere deep in my spirit I accepted that this may very well be "her time".

I'm sure that with her can do spirit, even at her age, that there must have been a list, whether written down or in her heart and mind of other things she'd like to do, places she'd like to visit and as such this was coupled with the occasional reminiscing as she looks over her past and the forks and roads taken that brought her to where she was in life.

In my own reminiscing, I was humbled.  Humbled that as I waded out into the unknown at this time in my life that my spirit had captured and held on to her piece of poetry - "Still I'll Rise".  A series of photos I took in December 2013 are shared in an FB album entitled "Still I'll Rise".  This album débuted on the birthday of a truly exceptional woman who I tend to butt heads with at times - my own mother :) (I've been assured by a dear pastor that this is normal woman's territory).  The first photo catalogued embodied so much of our life together; strength, agility, gentleness, playfulness and a love for the ocean - its calm, its swells, its tides and the healing it brings just to be near it.  As I struck pose after pose, twirling my sarong, amidst the encouraging words of the photographer, I recalled my mother's lessons in not only tying a sarong but using and wearing it effortlessly and somewhere, somehow this transcended into going forward carrying my trials and tribulations effortlessly.  In an instant the words that settled on my heart were "Still I'll Rise", just as she continues to do and as Maya has done.

Maya Angelou's "I Know Why the Caged Birds Sing" was somewhere on my high school's reading list along with the popular Shakespeare Series. However, it wasn't until later through my older sister's passion for her literature that I was truly turned on to her work.  If I wasn't reading I was writing or otherwise creatively engaged and the latter plus a disruptive marriage and children squeezed out time spent with my beloved authors.  So there is much much more of her work that is still to be devoured by me.

It was during a phone conversation with a friend that I learned of her passing; my response "what?"  He continued "Maya Angelou passed".  It sank in - I sighed and recounted that it was just two days ago that I learned she was unwell.

Now I've pondered the parallels, the shifts, the coincidence that as she was going out ... I was coming in, coming in to my own.  Owning me.  Owning and Embracing all of me and this sure takes some courage.  It is surreal that despite the physical distances and the unlikelihood that we would ever meet another just how connected in life we are. It's also poignant that when we meet someone, a stranger, who later becomes a friend, we learn of their culture and how similar it is to ours, we come away feeling as though they grew up on our street.  I feel somehow our spirits collided.  It brings me back to wondering about our souls' journeys as we sleep and dream.

Many years ago while in the USA, I dreamed that a boyfriend had an accident.  I called one of his close friends who was also in the USA asking him to call home to find out as I was really a bit terrified to find out myself - you know, that feeling where you scare yourself.  Sometime later he called back and to this day - pretty much 20 years later - I remember his exact words, "Leila, if at all you should ever dream anything about me, don't tell me!" 

So yes, in my own way I feel connected to her.  Connected to this woman of courage who looked within herself and to God to achieve beauty out of the ashes of life.  To me,
Maya Angelou's life is one of those that I would hasten to say came full circle.  It's one of the interesting little tidbits I note or come away with when someone dies - how close their death was time-lined to their birth.  It is how I later introduced the wording sunrise / sunset (instead of birth / death) on funeral stationery I produced - symbolising the individual's day's work is done.

When I look at her face I see the faces of the women of my family and of the older women outside my family that I've become knitted to and how they all share this same face - a face that is open, speaks love, acceptance, forgiveness, grace and strength all at the same time.  I look at photos of my mother, my grandmother and I exclaimed aloud.  My sons who were present agreed and added yes that's Aunt Pauline's face too - my maternal grandmother's first cousin who fills the role of their every day hands-on doting grandmother.

The impact is profound and the truth is that there's so much on this plain that transcends our human understanding.  We born, we die.  However, in between that, we must take courage as Maya did and live.

Facebook - The Party Room

Facebook is like one big party room.  If you're close enough to catch the joke, you laugh and make your comments.  If not, someone will catch you up.  Failing that, just don't be offended, drop it and move on - fast! This is my conclusion having been Facebooked for about 5 years now.  My perception tomorrow may surely change.

As I look back, I recall one of my first slaps; a cousin was coming to Antigua, seeing her post I got excited and hit up her page - "Sure can't wait to see you" or some other really excited comment - she deleted it... :( I was miffed.  How was I to know that she was posting in a slant that maybe only a handful of people may get "on the world wide web" and me just posting on "her page" without selecting "her only" - remember now I'm new with the impression of a party room amongst friends and family - would land me on the wrong side of her venom.

Well, after in-boxing to get to the heart of the matter, I made my apologies and a mental note to never do that again.  Get excited about seeing her, sure - telling her on FB - a definite NO! NO!.  The thing was "not everyone" was suppose to know where she was travelling to.

However, it wasn't just her - whole scores of people.  I can be pretty responsive and into cheering others on. So please if you don't want the FB community to know just please don't put it there as I may reply on your wall and not in your inbox.  (Note I still hold the what-if-view that one day your inbox may end up on your wall).  There was that time I commented that a married couple looked so much alike they could really pass for relatives.  Comment Deleted!  Apparently a bit too close to home.  I love them dearly. Some months later I had a call to mediate my brother's faux pas.  Now dude is in the army and not readily accessible.  When I got on to him, he just threw his head back and laughed. I couldn't see him, but I know him.  He complied with the wishes and laughed some more. Party room I tell you! 

Of course, I've had my share.  It seems at times that my life observations and experiences that are shared through an FB post, though not directly speaking of a particular person who caused me a great deal of trauma, was taken to said individual by some apparent FB snoop (that's what they're called right?). So yes, after I was called and cussed out by the chap I had to do a blast reminding people that my life in all it's pain and glory is just that - mine.  After all, that's what you do in a party room right.  You set it straight!  And yes what was said in my post could only get to him through one of the FB peeps cause he's not on my list and couldn't get on it even if he tried unless he create an alias or one of the peeps gave him a look-see through their access.  But heck - nobody got time for that and like brother Bob say "who de cyap fit!"

It's a live and learn type of thing.  The world goes on.  FB's changes keep you on your toes. Platforms are forever being launched and upgraded, so it is with growth.  Many features I've found to be rather useful and happily so when the "what is for two is not for three" rule applies.  But don't come tell me that something is private and then two shakes later I see smaddy else hitting up your page with the same info and you don't press the delete button cause now that's sending an entirely different message altogether.

When it's all said and done we are all created humans, with the same emotions.  Yet don't in any way pass your place to tell me I'm a lesser one in this party room of life.  It is a great place to share information, a great way to share photo albums across the distance but as with anything else, when the minus outweighs the plus it's a room I'd rather not be in any more.  Hence my continued plea for 2014, keep it nice, light and comfy.  Let's not lose or devour each other, keep the monkey in the room.